Well 1 more day.

So the trip I was talking about in the other post? They ship out in one more day which is upsetting enough but I didn't even get to say goodbye to my best friend. I can't realy blame her considering she was at an appointment but I wish shed told me so I'dve had a chance. Yes I'm aware she's only gone for 2 weeks but that's probably gonna be the longest I've gone without here or atleast talking to her in around 4-5 years. Not to mention again the afore mentioned people on the trip I happen to dislike.

But anyways so this week wasn't too too bad nothing realy happened. Went to a movie with a friend and had an amazing time I was happy to see her having fun to. And now it's a long weekend. I have to say my self esteem issueas and loneliness issues have been getting a bit worse lately. I'm pretty much lonely all the time and found myself crying a little bit today because of it. Well that and the whole not getting to say bye thing. I took a look at most of the relationships at my school and I'm beginning to notice something. The "hot" athletic guys, who are ass holes or druggies or stuff, still manage to get the girl. Like WTF society???? I mean seriously the drug using ass holes get to have happy relationships but I don't? One of my friends said god made me perfect somehow I doubt it. I know I can't rush this or force myself or someone else to like me but still I just realy want a relationship, I want someone to like me or something!

Oh and on that topic my friend from my first post (For anyone who remembers) I think still believes I'm in love with her. Which to be honest is true, as I said before I will always love her no matter what. But she's saying the same stuff I'm saying how she wants someone to love her as well. Which I'm fine with I can understand why she doesn't want to be with me and I'm okay helping her get through it and such because she is my best friend. I have no problem with encouraging her to find someone else or anything like that I want her to be happy even if it's not with me. But once again the whole loneliness thing is kinda killing me a little.

Well that's about it the usual load of stuff I'm sure I'll be back soon.

~Bonhomme